i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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