No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
