last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
