So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
