But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I just threw up on my dentist
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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