You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
areolas are like halos for boobs.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
