OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
