I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
