i think my tv is drunk
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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