Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
