After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
