yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
