well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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