yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
