He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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