love makes seman taste better
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
