i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
