Pregnant stripper...not hot.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
