i don't plan on having that self control this summer
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
