I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
