You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
