Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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