Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Randomize
