dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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