it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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