she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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