he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
