i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
