we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
