shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Randomize