He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
God I need to hump something, right now.
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