i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
