Someone shit on the floor
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
