where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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