I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
