Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
