he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
