I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
