we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
