So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
