Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
