I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
