he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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