Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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