its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
