A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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