Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
