i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I think people are normalizing furries
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
