I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
