ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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