umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
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